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Satisfying
relationships are the key to mental health. Blaming unhappiness on a troubled childhood or other factors beyond our control
is an exercise in ‘external control psychology,’ the dominant thinking of our time. It can get you into a lot
of trouble. All relationships -- love, work, friendship -- are more satisfying when you free yourself of the tiresome effort
to control others' experience. In my work, I find it very gratifying to see people of all ages getting more satisfaction from
their relationships by learning to take responsibility for their own behavior. Control psychology has led many well meaning parents to
rely on a reward-and-punish strategy of child behavior management. Choice psychology offers a less controlling, more connecting
path.
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